From this point on, this journal will be FRIENDS ONLY. Guess you'll have to find someone else to stalk!

This week is horrible.

On Sunday, I woke up completely motivated to run nine miles. I want to do the 15K that is coming up next month, but I have to get in better shape first. I went into my kitchen to have my usual waffle with peanut butter and Instant Breakfast and noticed a few ants running around. No big deal, they're just sweet ants (as in "sugar" not "awesome") and I had noticed them crawling around outside my door the past few weeks. I went down to my car, opened the door, and saw probably fifty ants crawling around everywhere! That freaked me out. I've never had ants in my car.

I ran back upstairs and got my Windex and started spraying every one I saw. But I couldn't get them all. I needed traps. But I needed my car to get the traps, and I was too squeamish to get in the car. Eventually, I mustered enough courage to drive to Wal-Mart, keeping my Windex handy and using it several times during the trip. I bought some ant traps and placed one in my car, did a three-mile run (it's effing hot), and went home and placed the rest of the traps in my kitchen, as upon further investigation, I realized there were several more than just a few ants running around. It was even worse outside, as my ghetto neighbors left their trash outside again. At least the ants were sort of graviting towards his apartment. As I walked back down, I noticed the building was covered in billions of these little bastards. It completely grossed me out.

My kitchen was beginning to look like a scene out of Indiana Jones, as the ants had discovered my cats' food and were bathing themselves in their dishes. I cleaned as much as I could, put the cat food in the fridge, and then headed over to the office to bitch. I had to wait for them to open the doors (late) and gave K my list of complaints:

1) There are ants all over the building, in my car, in my kitchen, and in my shower. Response: That's because of all the rain. Counterresponse: I don't give a crap why they are there, I just want them out!

2) I found some sort of feces in my cabinet. Could be a roach, could be a mouse. Response: We'll have pest control come on Wednesday. Counterresponse: Great, I love living with billions of ants, mice, and cockroaches. Thanks for giving me three days to deal with it and attract more critters before you take action.

3) My neighbors are disgusting. There has now been a crusty old seat from a car sitting in the stairwell for three months, right next to a three-month-old bag of trash, and my other neighbor left his trash and stinky sneakers outside, as usual, which is attracting even more ants. Response: The guy with the car seat has been evicted. He got kicked out of school, too. We'll leave a note for the other people to clean up their trash. Counterresponse: Why didn't you evict the car seat as well?

That night, I went into the kitchen to check on my ants, and there was a fucking huge cockroach hanging out on my counter. It immediately scuttled underneath the sink when it noticed I saw him and I about had a heart attack. I have roach phobia. Literally. I refused to go in my kitchen for the entire night. At least it wasn't a mouse, I suppose. Also, Snickers was apparently afraid of the ants and so would not go to her litter box, where most of them were conjugating. Instead, she relieved herself in my closet, ON me, and on the door until I forced her into the kitchen and made her conquer her free. She's been good since.

Katie promised pest control would come on Wednesday, which is why I was surprised to find a business card for pest control on my counter when I got home Monday. I don't know what they thought they did, but I still had ants. They migrated and were no longer on the floor, but in my cabinets. Awesome. But it gets better.

As I got in my bed, I saw a line of ants walking on the wall right next to my pillows. I Windexed the hell out of them, but I knew there was no way they were that close and not actually in my bed. Sure enough, I found several on my pillows, in my sheets, etc. At first I tried to ignore it, but I got so creeped out knowing that ants were going to be crawling on me while I slept, then upon seeing the last one, I just brushed off my pillow and headed to the living room, the one place I have yet to see an ant.

I didn't learn from the last night - or more accurately, I believed Patrick when he told me you never see the same roach twice - and turned on my kitchen light. Snickers started staring at something. Not even thinking about it, I looked where she was looking and there was that goddamn roach as big as my fist. I screamed, which startled him (yes, he actually flinched). But I was in worse shape than the roach. My phobia took over. I sat on the couch and shook, and started sweating profusely and crying uncontrollably. It was bad enough to be in a bed full of ants, but now there's some creepy roach two feet away from where I have to sleep! And he's the flying kind, too! I called up the few people I thought wouldn't get pissed at me for calling them at 12:30 at night because I was scared of a non-threatening bug, but no one answered. So I sat there for like a half hour trying to gather up the courage to go to sleep. It took like an hour, but finally I was able to bring myself to turn off the kitchen light as I couldn't sleep with it on, even if I wasn't terrified.

I was too scared and tired to make a real bed out of my couch, so I pathetically slept with a towel as a blanket. (Yes, I am aware of just how large a wuss I am.)

I called up the office before lunch and bitched that I still had ants, and they were now in my bed, and that there's a gigantic cockroach living under the kitchen sink, which is a problem since I'm terrified of them. They told me that my apartment was one of the most infested - I am so lucky - and that they will be back again to spray tomorrow and he will also have them treat for the roach. K apparently didn't remember our lengthy conversation about the poop in my cabinet.

After work, I bought some Terro Liquid Ant Bait traps. I cleaned up the ant graveyard on the counter for like the fourth time in the past two days, then stuck the traps all over the apartment. I looked at the one in the cabinet about fifteen minutes later and it was amazing. The ants are swarming it. It is so disgusting, yet so satisfying knowing that they're all getting poisoned. I was retarded, though, and didn't think that I should remove my dishes from the cabinet, so now I'm pretty much screwed for breakfast. I am pleasantly surprised to find no ants in the bait in my bedroom, though, which means I may be okay to sleep in there tonight. The only ones they're really in are in the cabinets. As soon as they're gone, I'm throwing out all that food and washing all my dishes.

I made sure I bought an airbed today - which I needed to buy before next month anyway - just in case the ants haven't actually left my room yet. But I really don't want to be in the living room because of the damn roach.

In sum, Florida sucks and I hate it here and I'm sorry, Floridians, but I'll take a snowstorm over it raining ants and roaches any day.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26262521/

I want to cry!

Why does TSA allow you to bring a book of matches in your carry-on but 4 ounces of shampoo is considered a threat?

http://www.flrunning.com/files/2008%2010K%20Fastest%20Times.pdf

Woot!

They warned me about regression, and said I may need temporary glasses, but I REALLY didn't want to believe them. What's most disappointing is that I could see almost perfectly for about three days after the surgery, and now my vision seems to be getting blurrier every day. And there's nothing I can do about it until it stabilizes, which will take months. What am I supposed to do in the meantime? I can't see across the office. It's frustrating. One good thing - when I'm outside, everything is clear. However, work is inside.

Yesterday began with a bunch of nerves that didn't subside until about 5:30 pm.

The time seemed to drag before the appointment, but finally I found myself in the waiting room, with Kristen doing crossword puzzles next to me. By waiting room, I really mean WAITING room. The appointment was supposed to be at 2:30, but they didn't even check me in until close to 4:00. In the meantime, I had plenty of time to become jittery. They had a masseuse there giving all the patients massages. He even gave Kristen one!

Finally they called my name and provided me with a little Dr. Filutowski tote bag full of goodies: two more sets of eye drops to accompany the three prescriptions I had filled, as well as a very attractive surgical bonnet, a sleeping pill, sunglasses, a Dr. Filutowski travel coffee mug, a Dr. Filutowski pen, and a Dr. Filutowski notepad, complete with case. Oh, and a Valium pill. They also provided unlimited personalized water bottles, granola bars, and crackers. I was paying $5,190 - so I took advantage.

After I was checked in, I had to wait another 30 minutes or so before they finally called my name. I dumped all my possessions on Kristen, including my soon-to-be useless glasses, and stumbled into the first room. They had be sport the surgical bonnet, and laid me down in what looked like a dentist chair (though I could only see fuzzy blobs at this point) and put some numbing drops in my eyes. It was the same feeling as when you get your eyes dilated, only it was more difficult to keep my eyes open.

Dr. Dempsey came in and was very soothing and explained everything they were doing. They covered my left eye and then put some strange thing on my right eye that made it feel like my eyeball was about to pop out and fall onto the floor. But that wasn't the end of it. They put some drops in my eye and then I felt a lot of pressure and really began to worry that I was about to have more in common with Odin (my sister's one-eyed cat) than I wanted. Then everything went black. It was a strange sensation, knowing that my eyes were open but seeing pitch blackness. It only lasted maybe 30 seconds when my vision started to come back and they covered that eye and did the whole thing over again on my left eye.

Then they led me into another room, where it was very dim and I could just make out a few chairs and a few recliners. They sat me in a chair and told me to keep my eyes closed, which I did. For the first few minutes, I felt fine. Then gradually my left eye started to feel irritated, kind of like when you have an eyelash caught in there. It started watering, and eventually the other eye followed suit. Then it started turning into a burning sensation. Finally someone came over and moved me to a recliner and asked if my eyes were bothering me. "Yes!" She put more numbing drops in and I felt relief instaneously. But, about ten minutes later, they started hurting again. That's when she came back and led me into the second to last, and most significant, room.

More numbing drops (ahhh!) and then Dr. Filutowski's voice, confirming I knew my name and birth date. I was lying down with a machine directly above my face. He put the same uncomfortable eyeball popping thing on my right eye, and it felt like it was pinching my eyelid. He told me to look at the red and green dots the whole time. It was more like a big red blob, but I got the jist. This, I assume, was the laser and they promised that it would move exactly with my eye and if my eye moved too much, it would shut down. So VERY small room for error. I did not feel any pain, but I did feel pressure and you could smell the laser working. It took a few minutes, and he kept telling me I was doing very well. Then, it was over and he repeated the process in the other eye.

They told me to sit up and look at the picture. I had to give the thumbs up and they snapped a picture of Dr. Filutowski and me. I look terrible. My hair is disheveled, and my eyes are red and barely open. I just got lasered after all! But it's displayed on my mantle anyway.

Then I was ushered into the final room, where they had me look through some eye machine, told me everything looked good, and repeated the eye drop procedure. I couldn't help being amazed at how well I could see. It was nowhere near perfect, but it was already a huge improvement.

They brought me back to Kristen, who had watched the whole thing. I put on my sunglasses and she drove me home. I was supposed to keep my eyes closed the whole time, but I was desperate to look around. I could see everything in the car so clearly!

The Valium really started to kick in when we got to my apartment. I felt very wobbly, so Kristen insisted on bringing me up to the apartment. She helped me with the eyedrops, and even made me a sandwich! I was so grateful for her. She sacrificed the whole afternoon for me. I put on my little eye covers for going to sleep and she took a picture. My eyes really started burning, so she left and I tried to go to sleep.

I lay there for awhile, but my eyes were so bothersome that I had a hard time sleeping. Finally I got home and went to look for the sleeping pill. It was missing. I searched throughout the whole tote bag, on the table, even in the fridge. I started getting very upset, worried that it had fallen out and I was going to be stuck awake with burning eyes. I texted Kristen "Sleeping pill missing" and she said, "In the cabinet above the sink." That's when I remembered we put it there, maybe twenty minutes earlier, in case the cats wanted to eat it, and I felt like a moron. I don't know if it was the Valium or the pain, but I was completely out of it!

I ended up not taking the pill after all that, because I didn't want it to wear off at 2:00 in the morning. So I went back to bed, and eventually did fall asleep. I woke up at 9:00 or 9:30 to eyes that weren't hurt and could see a lot better! I took some eyedrops, called a few people, took the pill, and went back to sleep, not to wake up until the next morning.

I could see even better than before, although things are still a bit foggy. Sort of like when your contacts get dried out. I'm seeing the halos and starbursts, as expected, but they aren't too bad. I drove myself to the follow-up appointment. The first time I have ever driven without contacts or glasses. My dad said, "What happens if you get pulled over? Your license says you need corrective lenses." I never thought of that! Maybe I'll have to keep my Dr. Filutowski picture in the glove compartment.

My follow-up went well. They said I'm seeing exaclty how I am supposed to be seeing right now. I am very optimistic. Even if my vision does not improve, which it will, I would be perfectly happy seeing like this. I recommend this to ANYONE!!

Ok, no backing out now. I just picked up my prescriptions and they cost me $150. With the $100 I spent on the testing the other week, I've now spent too much money to change my mind. By this time next week, I will see!!!!

Today was my LASIK consultation and testing. They consulted and tested for a little over two hours. In that time, I met with four different people who each said, "Wow - you're prescription is huge!" Oh really? DIDN'T NOTICE. I was worried it was too high, but guess what. I'M A CANDIDATE!!!

They gave me two options - LASIK and ICL.  ICL is where they actually implant lenses in my eyes. They said I would probably get better quality of vision with ICL, and that if I were unhappy for some reason, they could always remove them. With LASIK, there's no reversing. So if and when my vision gets worse, there's less flexibility of options for me to correct it. But, I'm pretty sure I'm going with the LASIK. Number one, there's no cutting my eyes at all because it's done completely with lasers. ICL involves them actually cutting my eyes with scalpels, meaning more chance of infection. Number two, I'd never even heard of ICL before I was there today. And number three, LASIK is significantly cheaper. I don't think I can afford ICL right now. And one of the people told me that her cousin had about the same prescription as me, got the LASIK, and was fine. So, since they said they didn't recommend one method over the other to me, I'm doing what I planned on doing.

The only thing I'm really worried about is the first six months. It takes that long for you to really get your optimum vision. They said more than likely I will need an enhancement after six months because my eyes are so bad, but that is included in the price. They said this was a permanent procedure. This is different from the one people have been telling me about, where after ten years you need to go back and do it again. I'll need reading glasses when I get older, but I shouldn't need to wear contacts/glasses all the time after surgey. That was my goal. They said they've done 35,000 procedures and not one of those patients has had any bad results from it. I say that's good odds. They said 95% of the bad things you hear about after surgey are from some other procedure people do that involves lasers as well as cutting. They obviously couldn't tell me nothing bad will happen to me, but I do feel confident that my chances are good and that I am in good hands.

So, on July 11 I go under the laser so to speak!! It's not going to be pleasant for my bank account, but I will manage. If it gets too hard, there are things I can give up, like cable. Yes, I'd rather be able to see than have cable television, believe it or not. No gym membership for me. (I'm super glad I didn't join one already.) But....NO MORE IRRITATING CONTACT LENSES AND HEAVY GLASSES!!!!!!!!! So excited.

Last night I got a text message proposal. It was all in fun, of course, but it was kind of nice pretending that someone actually thought I was marry-able. That will probably be the closest I'll ever get.

I made my LASIK consultation appointment. It's next Friday.

I raced yesterday, and I'm not going to lie  - it was hard. I hadn't run outside for about two and a half weeks and it was, as always, effing hot. I finished in 25:39, which wasn't my best, but wasn't my worst. I was okay with it, though, and actually surprised that I did that well. I felt very sick afterwards. The weather is not runner-friendly anymore, so I'm having a very difficult time practicing without getting heatstroke. I've been running on the treadmill, but it's not the same. I genuinely am worried to run in 95-degree weather. I know some people do it, but I feel like I am more sensitive to temperature than a lot of people. I am colder when it's cold, and hotter when it's hot. If I'm sitting in a room for awhile, at room temperature, and I get up and move somewhere, I start to shiver and my teeth chatter. The room needs to be no less than 76 degrees for me to feel comfortable in a T-shirt. While that would seem like I'd have an easier time than most while running in hot weather, it's the opposite. I am sweating profusely before I even walk to my start line, and then I get light-headed and would definitely pass out if I don't stop and put my head in between my knees, only a mile and a half in. Mike said it was because I don't have much body fat to buffer the heat, so my outside temperature becomes my inside temperature extremely quickly. I don't know how much truth there is to that, but in any case, it's not worth passing out on Lake Mary Blvd. just to get a better time in the next race. Maybe the September 15K is not going to happen for me after all.

On another subject, last night I dreamt that I was going to get lasik surgery, and now I'm convinced that I want to go. I keep putting it off because I am worried they are going to tell me I am not a candidate. Or that it's going to cost $5,000. My hopes will be crushed if they do. I mean it, this is something I want so badly that I will probably cry if they tell me I can't have it. I should just go and get an assessment so I can at least know if it is something I can hope for. Maybe it sounds silly to be that upset over not being able to get lasik, but it would be completely life-changing if I could see. If you've never had to depend on glasses and contacts, I don't think it's something you could understand. Meanwhile, I'm trying to prepare myself for the possibility that it might not happen, whether it's because of my eyes or just the cost, by being grateful that I am not blind and am able to see at all, even if it is a hassle, uncomfortable a lot of the time, and money-draining. At least I can see, right?

Your Boy Side

[ ] You love hoodies
[x] You love jeans.
[ ] Dogs are better than cats.
[ ] It's hilarious when people get hurt.
[x] You've played with/against boys on a team.
[x] Shopping is torture. With the possible exception of Grocery shopping.
[ ] Sad movies suck.
[ ] You own an X-Box.
[x] Played with Hotwheels cars as a kid.
[ ] At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
[ ] You own a DS, PS2 or Sega.
[ ] You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
[ ] You watch sports on TV.
[ ] Gory movies are cool.
[x] You go to your dad for advice.
[ ] You own a trillion baseball caps.
[ ] You like going to football games.
[ ] You used to/do collect baseball cards.
[x] Baggy pants are cool to wear.
[ ] It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
[x] Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
[x] You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
[ ] Sports are fun.
[x] Talk with food in your mouth.
[ ] Wear boxers.

Total: 9

Your Girl Side
[ ] You wear lip gloss.
[ ] You love to shop.
[ ] You wear eyeliner. (rarely)
[x] You have some of the same shirts in different colors.
[x] You wear the color pink.
[x] Go to your mom for advice.
[x] You consider cheerleading a sport.
[ ] You hate wearing the color black.
[ ] You like hanging out at the mall.
[ ] You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
[ ] You like wearing jewelry.
[ ] Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
[ ] Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
[x] You don't like the movie Star Wars.
[x] You are/were in cheerleading, gymnastics or dance.
[ ] It takes you around 1 hour to shower, get dressed, and put on make-up and accessories.
[ ] You smile a lot more than you should.
[x] You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
[x] You care about what you look like.
[x] You like wearing dresses when you can.
[ ] You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
[x] You wear girl underwear.
[x] Used to play with dolls as little kid.
[ ] Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy of it.
[ ] Like taking pictures of yourself with your cell phone/camera when you're bored.

Total: 11

I'm barely a girl.

Well, no Briggs pig this year. Or ice cream for that matter! However, it was still a good day overall. New work summer hours allowed me to get off at 12:30, which was awesome. I got lots of Happy Birthday texts and phone calls and messages (thank you!). I went to my boss's Hurricane party where Julia made me Hurricanes, which I did not hold well. But, I don't THINK I made a fool out of myself too badly this year. Although Mark announced to everyone it was my birthday and I had the honor of lighting the hurricane lamp. All that attention embarrassed me and I know I was bright red. Afterwards, Patrick gave me presents, which included a cookie cake (with a turtle drawn in frosting, I might add!) and a Herman the Manatee T-shirt! It was crazy. Pictures will be forthcoming.

Not a word from Mike T, which I guess I didn't expect, but am still saddened by it. Maybe one day he will wake up and realize he lost a good friend. Maybe.

"...The center predicted a 65 percent probability of an above normal season and a 25 percent probability of a near normal season. 'This means there is a 90 percent chance of a near or above normal season,' the center stated.